solemnly scrawled by Joseph B. Ostrander

About three in the afternoon Jesus cried out in a loud voice, Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani? (which means “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”).  Matthew 27:45-46

How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever?
    How long will you hide your face from me?
How long must I wrestle with my thoughts
    and day after day have sorrow in my heart?   Psalm 13:1-2

Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.   Proverbs 13:12

It is an almost universal experience during every dear saint’s faith journey that they would at some point feel alienated from the God they claim fealty to…

I certainly am not the exception to being susceptible to such feelings of abandonment.  My plight seemingly of little or no concern to our Heavenly Father.  My situation of no significance to The Almighty.  My petitions ignored.  My dire circumstances unchanged, or worse, escalating to even greater seriousness…

Yes.  I have been there rather frequently without a clue about what is really happening behind the heavenly scenes that are like a bronze barrier of impenetrable density…

“Why have I been forsaken, O Lord?”

Although I can commiserate with other saints going through similar challenges, I cannot come up with satisfactory Christianese platitudes sufficient to assuage the feelings of fear, panic, and abandonment that are the common visceral human reactions to being overwhelmed and helpless in the face of negative circumstances…


Our frailty, vulnerability, and dependence upon a divine source can be one of the most uncomfortable elements of our human existence and self-awareness…

{sigh x2}

“...and give us dependent saints our fresh bread for this day and all days thereafter; all things pertaining to life and godliness: food, shelter, clothing, transportation, health, safety, finances, family and friends…and every Rhema word that proceeds from Your mouth, O Lord…”